Why Shane Gray Was Not in Shakespeare
by Lyndotia
Summary: Oneshot. Have you ever wondered what would happen if a teenage pop-rock rebel was placed in the leading role of Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, or Macbeth? Shakespeare certainly wouldn't read the same again...


Disclaimer: I do not own Camp Rock, Shakespeare, or any of his plays. And I haven't sold my soul to Disney, either.

A/N: So I did this list of reasons for a couple of anime characters already, and my friend Maddi suggested that I do one of these about Shane Gray. Well, I thought about that… and decided I really liked the idea and could have a lot of fun with it. So y'all read and review if you will and tell me what you think.

**Why Shane Gray Was Not in Shakespeare**

Hamlet

Shane Gray was not in _Hamlet_ because he would have been too busy being sent off to reform school or being locked in a dungeon or something to have even heard about the king's ghost. And even if he had heard, he probably would have scoffed and moved on with his life because such a petty thing would have been beneath his notice. In the unlikely event that he had both heard and investigated, he would likely have been befuddled by some random screened-in room which he definitely couldn't see through to talk to said ghost and wouldn't have been able to identify it as his father's. However, he would still have gone after his uncle, because no one has rule over Shane Gray! Not domineering record labels and not annoying uncles who employ extremely bad puns! And in the end, he would've had an epiphany about how he was too self-centered, somehow lived, gotten Ophelia back (but never kissed her), and rocked the castle even though there was no electricity. Because he's Shane Gray and he's _that awesome_.

Romeo and Juliet

Shane Gray was not in _Romeo and Juliet_ because… well, he's Shane Gray. Really, what family would continue a feud with an internationally famous pop star? They would've been busy trying to get his autograph, not trying to kill him. However, if the Capulets had for some reason been mad at him because he hadn't signed their favorite pair of sneakers or something, he would only have fallen in love with Juliet if she had an amazing voice, and after a plot filled with much overdramatic irony. This would have taken up at least half the play, and left little time for anything else. Had the plot eventually gone on beyond that, however, it would have been basically a very short and rushed version of what actually happened up until the end… except he would have been demanding electricity and hair product at random intervals. No one would have died, though; even Mercutio would somehow randomly have cheated death and in the end, everyone would have realized everything they were doing wrong and apologized most profusely for it. And, because Shane Gray was in the play, all apologies would be accepted with no question.

Macbeth

Shane Gray was not in _Macbeth_ because he would have been too busy being a pop star to be anywhere near the three witches in order to hear their prophecies. If he had heard them, he probably would've scoffed it off but later told his friends, one of whom would have asked what a prophecy was and one of whom would've freaked out and tried to figure all of it up so that the band's rep wouldn't be ruined. There would probably have been a Lady Gray, just for the sheer purpose of having the pun of the name being like Lady Grey tea, but she would have found a different way to convince Shane to go along with her plan because her normal way would've been censored. Duncan wouldn't have died, just happily resigned his position and appointed Shane king because nothing bad is allowed to happen which can't easily be reversed in the last five minutes of the story. Malcolm and Donalbain would still have plotted to overthrow him, though, probably because of his self-centeredness or disregard of the people's wellbeing or something… but in the end he would've magically been turned around by the voice of his Lady Gray singing and everyone would've forgiven him completely. Then they would all sing a random song which they all knew all the words to perfectly and all the while the most PDA that would be allowed would be him holding his Lady's hand.


End file.
